...falling for you - dropping so quickly. Maybe I should keep think to myself - wait until I know you better...I am trying not to tell you, but I want to. I'm scared of what you'll say and so I'm hiding what I'm feeling, but I'm tired of holding this inside my head.


Oh happy confusion. :/ Corey is dating my friend, his three time ex, again. Which I guess they know what they're doing. If it's meant to work out, it will. I am just happy to be friends with him again. Which I think we are. We do talk a lot again. I missed him. I'll never take him for granted again.

Ben and I. For the past few months, he and I have just been almost together. A few people thought we were dating. I wanted to. And apparentally he had liked me. But now, I'm not so sure. That he likes me and that I like him. Like that at least. He is of course one of my best friends. But more? We've tried that. It hasn't worked. Maybe thats a sign that it's just not meant to be? Anyways he only thinks he might like me. And well, I'm majorly turning him off because....

I like someone else. I think. I know. I just. Can't. Shouldn't. He's a freshman. I'm a junior. It defies high school. His name is Sam. I got to know him during our fall play. And well, things just kinda grew from there. Our school had a game night, and we spent the whole night together playing mao and spoons and apples to apples and just had fun. And then he went to perkins with us. Though it was under false pretenses of we had to have the siblings along. That's a huge other thing. He is the same age as most of my friends' siblings. I mean, in the real world its really not that big of a deal. But in high school, first, he's not ready for a relationship, right? I mean, really. High school dating is so pathetic. Look at all this. Prime example. Most of the time it's not even actually dating. He's not mature enough. Granted he is more mature than most of the guys his age, as far as I've seen at least. And my friends do agree with that. Just, he is really nice. And I have so much fun with him. He's very chivalrous too. Which makes sense because his dad is my favorite teacher. Ah, another thing. His dad is one of my teachers, and he's the type of person who can tell. His dad knows. For sure. Sam went with us to Perkins another time too. And this time there weren't any other freshman that were going to go, though some did. But he still sat by me. : )

So confusing. I like this journal thing. It lets me vent. I feel bad talking to my friends about it. But it's on my mind all the time. He's on my mind all the time. Oh dear...